Comfortable in the Uncomfortable

Change is hard. Everyone knows that. That is why so many people live a life they don't want. Or wish for something they are actually afraid to go after. For a long time, I was uncomfortable in my comfortable life. I could come and go as I pleased. I had the appearance of happiness - husband, big house, great wardrobe, perfect pups, amazing career, etc. etc. But each night I cried myself to sleep because I was so unhappy. But change was scary so it took me a long time to muster the strength to do anything. As unhappy as I was, at least I knew what each day would hold. I was uncomfortable in the comfortable.

I never thought about this until an amazing person introduced me to the concept. He said, "for a long time I was uncomfortable in the comfortable. But now, I'm comfortable in the uncomfortable." Meaning, it feels good to stretch, to change, to take a risk. You may not know what the next day will bring but at least you know you are living your life on your terms. You are choosing happiness.

And that is where I am right now. And it is a great space to be in. Sure, life has gotten tougher on certain fronts (puppy care, house stuff, money, logistics, etc.) but it sure is easier not to live a lie. To be happy for the right things - love, family, friends, health.

And, of course, beautiful new shoes given to me because I am a mom of pups. I still include shoes in my happiness quotient. And there is nothing uncomfortable about these!

Spring Sassiness

Spring is such a sassy season. You can see the kick in people's step. Legs are shaved, toes are painted, clothes have color. The flowers are blooming and the grass is greening. It's a time for golfing, running (not that I do that), grilling... it really is my favorite time of year.

And it's also a time for new shoes (big surprise). So celebrate spring with some new sassiness... My choice? These amazing Carlos Santana sandals. I can't wait to wear them with a flirty skirt and go out on the town! Or wear them to work since I seem to do more of that than go out on the town. Wait, I think there's an opportunity there! Maybe I should plan a night out on the town. Or dress up for dinner in my own house. Either way, these beauties will be dressing up my feet!

A Little Bit Stronger

Transitions are hard. Even if the change is something you know is right, the space and time in which it occurs can still be difficult. The saying goes "time heals (heels) all wounds", and I do think that is true. It's the waiting for the time to pass and the healing to be complete that can be grueling.

I didn't realize how topsy-turvy I would feel at the final stage of this transition. I'm even more surprised that I still feel empathy after so much hurt. But I don't feel the need to rescue anymore. And I don't feel the need to sacrifice myself - the cost is too high.

So I guess that means I'm healing, right? And maybe getting a little bit stronger? Two months ago certain emails or texts would have sent me over the edge. Today, I breathe deeply and feel what I feel. Then I try and move past it. I try not to let the feelings paralyze me.

So in honor of me getting stronger, I'm the proud owner of these Charles by Charles David wedge summer sandals. No falling down in these shoes. They mean business. And so do I. One thing I have learned in the past year is that I can do this. I can choose happiness. I can let go - even if it is a very small bit at a time. And that doesn't mean I'm not loyal. And it doesn't mean I didn't try. It just means I know when to say when.

And with strength comes hope. I still believe in love. It may sound crazy to you, but I believe that it's possible. Some days I may feel damaged, but someone will love me despite that. And they will help me heal completely. That sounds like a strong outlook, don't you think?

A Time for Renewal

It was Easter 2003 when my family met my future husband for the first time. And it is Easter 2011 that marks the last Easter for us to be married. It is a season for renewal and with that renewal comes many emotions - sadness, joy, fear - the list goes on and on.

Many people have emotional ties to possessions and I am no different. Except, of course, that some of my most emotional ties are with my shoes. Strange, I know, but as I downsize my shoe collection with the help of eBay; I can't help but go through that emotional roller coaster.

Like these green patent Tahari sandals with the gold heel. My soon to be ex-husband bought them for me as an Easter surprise a few years ago. I loved the colors and the fact they would go with a jacket I have that is so ugly it's cute (you'd have to see it to understand). Mostly, though, I loved that he went into a store, saw these and thought of me. But they hurt my feet from the moment I put them on. Yet I wore them anyway. Because they were cute and because he bought them for me. I suffered through to make him happy...

And now these shoes are making someone in Wisconsin happy. And the lesson they have taught me is invaluable - you can't sacrifice your own happiness for someone else's. If you do, it is impossible to sustain.

So I wish you a happy and blessed Easter. An Easter that allows you to begin your own season of renewal. A pain-free time filled with happiness... and maybe a couple pairs of new shoes.

"Your Boots Make Me Happy"

When I walked into the treatment room at Izalia yesterday, (and no, you can't know what treatment I was having - total TMI!!!) Annette said 5 magical words, "Your boots make me happy." Quickly followed by, "Would you say they are more Swiss or French Country?" I can safely say no one has ever asked me that question before, and I said "Swiss but only because the red makes me feel that way." I have NO idea!

Anyway, I told Annette that I think it's important to wear brightly colored floral galoshes on gray, rainy, chilly days. Basically, I brighten people's day from my knees down. She wholeheartedly agreed.

And, let's face it. If I can spread happiness with my footwear, it seems like a win-win. One might even say, it's good for the so(u)le. (HAHAHAHAHAHAHA) It's my blog, I can pun if I want to!

Almost Famous

So I am a famous shoe designer. Well, sort of. I bought a Groupon to design my own shoes at Eidia Lush. Aren't they fabulous? Well, apparently the folks at Eidia Lush thought so because they posted pictures to facebook and blogged about it! I hope you check out their blog to learn what I should wear with these beauties!

I feel famous. Almost!

An Intervention

I have had an interesting life. And by interesting I mean somewhat wild, challenging, thrilling and completely off the reservation at times. So I can't believe it took this long for the intervention to happen. And that it would happen in my closet.

Alexis is one of my closest friends. She flew down from Boston for a fun-filled girls weekend (which means eating, drinking, laughing, talking, etc.) and it was her first trip to my new house. On night 2, we were trying to decide if we should go out or stay in. And then Alexis walked into my closet, pulled out her phone, snapped a picture and demanded I see what she saw. As she surveyed the shoe boxes, she calmly asked, "is this all of them?" I had to then lead her to another closet full of shoes. After counting to 150 she said, "Get the champagne. We are staying in. This is a shoe intervention."

We spent the next 2 hours laughing, drinking, trying on shoes, photographing and sorting. Three piles: garbage, goodwill and eBay. (She did snag a couple of things for herself for helping so much!) We also went through purses. And like a woman possessed, I went through all of my clothes the next day. All in all, 4 bags went to Goodwill and I have listed 6 of the 40 pairs of shoes on eBay.

I have a new beginning after a very long, emotional roller coaster. Somehow, starting over seems as good a time as any to lighten my load. I'm doing it emotionally. Why not do it with my possessions as well? You may be wondering how traumatic this was for me. Actually, it wasn't. It felt great to get rid of all the stuff I wasn't enjoying or using. It was fun to open a box and light up because I loved the contents and get rid of anything that didn't warrant that reaction. As a matter of fact, seems like a good philosophy for everything else in my life, doesn't it?

And yes, I may buy my feet something new with my eBay proceeds. You're not surprised, are you?