Messy in Fabulous Shoes

Messy in Fabulous Shoes

Sunday, December 23, 2012

A Christmas Miracle

Tis the season of miracles. If I hadn't been there, I wouldn't have believed it. It hasn't happened, well, ever. This Christmas, my grandparents, parents, brother and wife, pups, niece and nephews and the love of my life gathered to celebrate the holiday.

Faithful readers know that I have struggled being out of contact with my brother for the better part of the past decade. A few months ago, he emailed me.  The emails turned into texts. The texts turned into phone calls and I saw him for the first time and met my two youngest nephews shortly after Mom came home from rehab after her big surgery. When my 3 year old nephew walked in, handed me a turkey made from a pine cone and said, "I made this for you, Aunt Messy", I was in shock. He acted like he had just seen me last Tuesday.  Truly amazing.

So I really didn't think the next event would happen - this early Christmas celebration. I was so suspicious it was real that I said we have to photograph it. So my sister-in-law (yep, finally got to meet her!) brought the camera and tripod and we now photographic proof thanks to the above family portrait.

I don't know why he reached out. I still don't know what happened to cause him not to talk to me. But what I do know, true to my word in earlier blogs, he has been accepted with open minds, open hearts and a hint of trepidation. You can't blame me for that, can you?

It has been an incredible holiday season for me so far. I have been blessed with friends, family and fun:

  • Early Christmas with the family - including Zoo Lights with brother, sister-in-law, niece and 3 nephews
  • Cookie swap with a new group of gal pals - including an early baking date with a great friend
  • Shrek the Halls with my niece, nephew and their mom
  • Dave Matthews in concert with T
  • Wonderful birthday date for my special day - and don't forget my Jimmy Choos!
  • Annual Christmas shopping and breakfast with Dad
  • Christmas with my bestie and her family, parents and aunt and uncle yesterday - including awesome Christmas ornaments made by my beautiful goddaughters and a surprise from my bestie - recipe cards written by my grandmother that she gave Mel for her bridal shower.  She copied them and gave me the originals.  Yes, of course I cried.  You would have too!
  • Still to come - Shrek the Halls and dinner double date with friends
  • National Christmas tree with T
  • Christmas day with my family
Can you believe all of this? I can't! 2012 is ending beautifully for me and I can't wait to see what 2013 holds.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to you and yours. I wish you health, happiness and blessings in the New Year. 

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

I CHOOse You!

Yesterday was my 39th birthday and I must admit I was not thrilled about it. Don't get me wrong, I have much in my life to be thankful for and I am - especially having another birthday! But it's hard not to reflect on the first half of your life and wonder how you got where you are, what you could have done differently, what the next half will be like. And so, I got a little melancholy.

T doesn't stand for that. He hates to see me sad and was so excited it was my birthday he sang to me at 2:00 am when he took the doggies out. Then again at 5:30. And at 7, we were up! He saw that look in my eye and said it was time to open my presents.  The first was an ornament with our picture in it to hang on our tree. I loved it - nothing better than a homemade present. Well, almost nothing...

In box #2 were the long lost loves of my life. The classic, 4 1/2" heel platform black suede Jimmy Choo pump. I almost wept with joy as I hugged them to my chest. And kissed T of course! (And then wore them all around the house with my fleece pants and pullover.)

When I first met T, he said he could never see spending that kind of cash on shoes. After all, he beats his to death. For goodness sake, think about how many golf clubs or engine parts you could get for what one pair of high-end shoes cost. And yet, he did this. He took a tape measure into my closet to try and get the size right (my closet includes shoes sized 8.5 - 9.5 so it can be very confusing) and sought expert advice (from our good friends at Saks) before taking the plunge. He did his research!

Here's the thing:  this isn't just about getting my first pair of Jimmy Choos. It's about what is behind the gift.  That we can strive to be better people because we want to deserve the love we have. That the person you love's happiness can sometimes be more important than your own. That seeing a light come on behind sad eyes because of what you have done makes it all worthwhile. These aren't just shoes. They are a symbol of a love that has grown because two people are intentional about communication, respect, kindness. They may as well be a diamond ring because these beauties are proof positive that T chose me. And I will continue to choose him everyday for the next half of my life and beyond. Happy Birthday to me!

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

How Old Is She?

Yesterday the Next Day Blinds Consultant came so that I can finally get the blinds for the bedrooms.  They all have window treatments but the blinds will complete the look of the house.  Not to mention the fact that the Golfice is the hottest room in the house because the sun just sits there in the afternoon.  The pups love it, the man does not.

So we walk through each room and she measures and writes the name of the room down, "master bedroom, Mom's room, Golfice".  And then we walk in to the Daisy room and she says, "What a bright and wonderful room!  How old is she?"

The sound you hear is my heart sinking.  And the reality is I decorated the room this way because I had always wanted a room based on the Gerber Daisy painting my friend Whitney had done for me years ago.  But I didn't say any of that.  I simply said, "5".

And I don't know why.  Somehow, it just seemed easier.  And I realize I am perfectly justified in decorating my house anyway I want.  After all, it is my house.  But seeing this room through the consultant's eyes, it just seemed sad. So I lied. And then I felt sad.

The truth is, that a 5 year old does sleep here a couple of times a year with her 8 year old sister - my Goddaughters.  And I knew they would love how girlie it is when I decorated it.  But that doesn't justify the lie.  Why is it, on the eve of my 39th birthday, I somehow feel "less than" because I'm not a mom?

My internal clock ticks loudly these days.  So loudly it seemed to drown out the truth yesterday.  In all honesty, I could have said 7 and 8 because, as you can see, Stella and Sophie love the daisy room.  And, yes, my mother would say, "You are a Mom - to Sophie and Stella."  And I am and I love them ferociously. But you and I know it isn't the same.

So if you want to stay in the girliest place in town, just let me know.  No one else is using it.  Sophie and Stella don't mind sharing.