How Old Is She?

Yesterday the Next Day Blinds Consultant came so that I can finally get the blinds for the bedrooms.  They all have window treatments but the blinds will complete the look of the house.  Not to mention the fact that the Golfice is the hottest room in the house because the sun just sits there in the afternoon.  The pups love it, the man does not.

So we walk through each room and she measures and writes the name of the room down, "master bedroom, Mom's room, Golfice".  And then we walk in to the Daisy room and she says, "What a bright and wonderful room!  How old is she?"

The sound you hear is my heart sinking.  And the reality is I decorated the room this way because I had always wanted a room based on the Gerber Daisy painting my friend Whitney had done for me years ago.  But I didn't say any of that.  I simply said, "5".

And I don't know why.  Somehow, it just seemed easier.  And I realize I am perfectly justified in decorating my house anyway I want.  After all, it is my house.  But seeing this room through the consultant's eyes, it just seemed sad. So I lied. And then I felt sad.

The truth is, that a 5 year old does sleep here a couple of times a year with her 8 year old sister - my Goddaughters.  And I knew they would love how girlie it is when I decorated it.  But that doesn't justify the lie.  Why is it, on the eve of my 39th birthday, I somehow feel "less than" because I'm not a mom?

My internal clock ticks loudly these days.  So loudly it seemed to drown out the truth yesterday.  In all honesty, I could have said 7 and 8 because, as you can see, Stella and Sophie love the daisy room.  And, yes, my mother would say, "You are a Mom - to Sophie and Stella."  And I am and I love them ferociously. But you and I know it isn't the same.

So if you want to stay in the girliest place in town, just let me know.  No one else is using it.  Sophie and Stella don't mind sharing.

Off to a Good Start

I was ready for 2010 to come to an end. Truth be told, it was the most bittersweet year of my life. A lot of changes and I'm not sure what comes next. But I do know that I am making a good home for me, Stella & Sophie. It is scary, for sure, but isn't change always scary?

So it seems fitting that on the last day of 2010, we got blinds. Yep, we have been living in this house for 14 months with temporary blinds. Pathetic but very telling about the road we'd been traveling. So now we have beautiful blinds (on the first floor at least) and every night I close them and every morning I open them. Who knew I would ever be so excited about blinds?

But lest you think I've completely lost my mind, on the first day of 2011 I bought these beauties. No, they aren't the Bucket List Boots. I mean do you seriously think I could splurge on those right now? I'm the proud owner of blinds, remember? Anyway, they are still "delicious" as one facebook friend called them - black, suede, over the knee platforms with 5 inch heels. (And if you want to know where I'll wear these, let me tell you. Out with the girls, to the grocery store, to a dinner party - shoot, I'll wear them while operating my Kitchen Aid mixer! Who knows... I'll wear them everywhere!)

And I get to spend the second day of 2011 with my bestie and her family. And I know there are a bunch of special moments in store for me today. I don't know about you, but I think 2011 is off to a great start. Happy New Year!