A (Not So) Formal Affair

I love getting dressed up. The gown, the sparkles, the make-up, ah yes, the shoes. Every year one of my FPs invites me to his organization's gala. This year, I had to pass because another FP was getting married. But he invited me to a gala in my hometown that I could make. So imagine my delight when shopping with Bride FP for her rehearsal dinner dress on a girls' weekend in Orlando and I find the perfect gown. It was so perfect, in fact, that the store shipped it for free because, as the manager said, "it was made for me."

So you can understand how excited I was when the gala date arrived. I even got my hair done. As I did my make-up, however, I started to realize that this evening may not happen. You see, Stella was sick. Very sick. She had been to the vet and they put her on antibiotics for a severe infection but she wouldn't stop screaming. So, off to the vet we went on a rainy Friday night.

And there we sat for hours until the x-rays showed nothing more serious (thank God) but we had missed the party. (I must admit I was the most glamorous person at the vet - from the neck up.) I was so sad... Not only was I missing a night with FPs, but I was missing the opportunity to wear my new gown and shoes. (Please don't get me wrong - I was thrilled Stella was going to be OK. All she needed were some narcotics to help her get through the tough part of her infection.)

And then I was presented with an alternative. Don our fancy duds and have a dance at home. So I put on my gown and slipped into my stilettos. And even Stella felt better once she saw my shoes (or it could have been the pain shot from the vet). Isn't it wonderful to have someone in your life who can make lemonade out of lemons? Or in this case, a formal affair out of a kitchen and an iTouch playlist?

YOU'VE NEVER BOWLED?!?!

It's true. Until a couple of months ago I had never bowled. Despite my mother's conviction that I MUST have bowled as a child - and my joy in telling her I was deprived - I had never bowled. I once hung out at a bowling alley while living in Bowling Green, OH with my brother after college graduation. He bowled. I drank beer and was wide-eyed due to the fabulous people watching.

Is it really shocking that I've never been? I mean, look at these shoes. You have to wear shoes OTHER PEOPLE have worn. And they aren't even cute. They are almost worse than golf shoes (see Why are Golf Shoes so Ugly for more elaboration on this point.)

My friends find it inconceivable. So I decided it was a must do and went on a weekday afternoon in Manassas, VA and luckily it was predominantly a ghost town. My first time up, I threw a spare. The "crowd" went wild. And then the wheels fell off. See, it turns out, I suck at bowling. I mean, I'm really bad. Beer must make it better but we weren't drinking.

And why was I so bad? I blame the shoes. It is impossible to excel at life in hideous footwear. I think they killed my mojo. As a matter of fact, I think that's what happens on the golf course too. Maybe tap dancing would be a better hobby for me. At least you can wear shoes that sparkle and shine.

(And in case you wondering, I was laughing so hard the whole time I could barely breathe. It was a blast! Despite the shoes...)

Comfortable in the Uncomfortable

Change is hard. Everyone knows that. That is why so many people live a life they don't want. Or wish for something they are actually afraid to go after. For a long time, I was uncomfortable in my comfortable life. I could come and go as I pleased. I had the appearance of happiness - husband, big house, great wardrobe, perfect pups, amazing career, etc. etc. But each night I cried myself to sleep because I was so unhappy. But change was scary so it took me a long time to muster the strength to do anything. As unhappy as I was, at least I knew what each day would hold. I was uncomfortable in the comfortable.

I never thought about this until an amazing person introduced me to the concept. He said, "for a long time I was uncomfortable in the comfortable. But now, I'm comfortable in the uncomfortable." Meaning, it feels good to stretch, to change, to take a risk. You may not know what the next day will bring but at least you know you are living your life on your terms. You are choosing happiness.

And that is where I am right now. And it is a great space to be in. Sure, life has gotten tougher on certain fronts (puppy care, house stuff, money, logistics, etc.) but it sure is easier not to live a lie. To be happy for the right things - love, family, friends, health.

And, of course, beautiful new shoes given to me because I am a mom of pups. I still include shoes in my happiness quotient. And there is nothing uncomfortable about these!

Spring Sassiness

Spring is such a sassy season. You can see the kick in people's step. Legs are shaved, toes are painted, clothes have color. The flowers are blooming and the grass is greening. It's a time for golfing, running (not that I do that), grilling... it really is my favorite time of year.

And it's also a time for new shoes (big surprise). So celebrate spring with some new sassiness... My choice? These amazing Carlos Santana sandals. I can't wait to wear them with a flirty skirt and go out on the town! Or wear them to work since I seem to do more of that than go out on the town. Wait, I think there's an opportunity there! Maybe I should plan a night out on the town. Or dress up for dinner in my own house. Either way, these beauties will be dressing up my feet!

A Little Bit Stronger

Transitions are hard. Even if the change is something you know is right, the space and time in which it occurs can still be difficult. The saying goes "time heals (heels) all wounds", and I do think that is true. It's the waiting for the time to pass and the healing to be complete that can be grueling.

I didn't realize how topsy-turvy I would feel at the final stage of this transition. I'm even more surprised that I still feel empathy after so much hurt. But I don't feel the need to rescue anymore. And I don't feel the need to sacrifice myself - the cost is too high.

So I guess that means I'm healing, right? And maybe getting a little bit stronger? Two months ago certain emails or texts would have sent me over the edge. Today, I breathe deeply and feel what I feel. Then I try and move past it. I try not to let the feelings paralyze me.

So in honor of me getting stronger, I'm the proud owner of these Charles by Charles David wedge summer sandals. No falling down in these shoes. They mean business. And so do I. One thing I have learned in the past year is that I can do this. I can choose happiness. I can let go - even if it is a very small bit at a time. And that doesn't mean I'm not loyal. And it doesn't mean I didn't try. It just means I know when to say when.

And with strength comes hope. I still believe in love. It may sound crazy to you, but I believe that it's possible. Some days I may feel damaged, but someone will love me despite that. And they will help me heal completely. That sounds like a strong outlook, don't you think?