Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?

When I was in NYC with some good friends this summer, the conversation suddenly stopped as I was telling a story over dinner. You have a brother???, asked Sunny. Um, yes, I guess I never talk about him, I responded. I never realized that every time I mention my niece and nephew no one puts two and two together.

The reality is that I do have an older brother. In actuality, I know exactly where he is. But the question remains, where is my brother? About 7 and a half years ago, he left. Just took off and decided he wanted no part of my family. He divorced his wife, moved away from his kids and started a new life. Since, he has remarried, had more kids and does indeed see my niece and nephew. He has also started seeing my parents and grandparents again.

In the last 7+ years I have reached out to him twice. Both times he responded but it never went anywhere. He has missed my grandmother's burial, my grandfather's wedding and 80th birthday, our parents 60th birthdays, my uncle's funeral, my wedding and divorce, never met my pups... the list goes on.

I have gone through the stages of grief. And I've finally gotten to the point where I don't really think about him that often. But the holidays are tough. And now that he is re-engaging with my family and not me, that makes it even tougher. See, the brother I had is gone. The one who I adored gave up on me and walked away from everyone he claimed to love. He has left me holding the bag in good times and in crisis.

I'm sure you are wondering what happened. If I truly understood it, maybe I'd have closure. But the man who shares my blood is a stranger now. He is not the same guy who bought my niece and I matching Winnie the Pooh slippers when she was 1 as a Christmas gift. (Pooh holds a special place in our hearts... well he used to... my brother bought me my first Pooh.)

So if you see him, let him know I'm still here. I'd like to know him again someday.