This weekend, I put up a Christmas tree. I have to admit, a few of my friends actually seemed surprised by this. Part of the surprise was the expense (it's a 7 foot Frasier Fir from a fancy nursery not far from my house), part was the labor (sometimes it is easier to find a strong man than you think), part was the idea of decorating a tree for no reason other than my own enjoyment (I do have girlfriends coming over this holiday season). I get it, I do. But getting a tree was important. First of all, I've never NOT had a tree. I remember my first single girl's tree trimming party when I lived by myself in Yonkers, NY. I wore the cutest red dress and got hammered on blackberry schnapps as my friends said "Ding!" every time we drank (the sound of a bell ringing can send me into dry heaves to this day).So why should this year be any different? Yes, I am in transition. But Stella and Sophie deserve a tree. And having their stockings hung by the chimney (gas fireplace) with care (if I can ever find stocking holders that I actually like). Besides, how will Santa find us if we don't have a tree?
So I'm decorating and tree trimming. I hope Santa comes after all this effort. And what do I want for Christmas? Happiness and health for myself and those I love. Maybe a little more patience - particularly with myself. And faith. And hope. Because my current situation may be reality right now. But it's not forever.
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